HoodWiinked

I can keep a secret about as well as Google, so when my colleague told me, gently, so I would not scream, that her husband had brokered a Wii for my husband son at the retail store where he works, I spent the last five days before Christmas shoving food into my mouth to stop the word "Wii" from squeaking out.

This year, I alone would hold the title of Coolest Parent. Terry wouldn't even know what hit him.

On the celebration of the day of our Lord's birth, I brushed off the last flecks of glitter still clinging to my four-year-old "Mommy's little deer" sweatshirt that Gabe made me wear each year, adjusted the heap of mass on my head to rearrange the greasy spots, and slid the rectangular shape in front of my husband.

"The last one's for daddy," I singsonged, then honked, "Not!" and pushed it in front of Gabe. They both looked at me confused. "Open it!" I squealed, then clamped my mouth with my hands.

Gabe lifted one flap of one side of wrapping paper and calmly declared: "It's a Wii," as if a long awaited male heir to a throne had been confirmed.

Not the shredding of paper and tackle of affection and laughter I had envisioned.

Then Terry, eyes protuberant, mouth agape, "What!? How did you get that?!"

The dam burst: "Hannah's husband got one when they had a drawing at his work for the employees to buy a Wii 'cause they never get to stand in line to buy one 'cause they're always working when the store opens and they can't wait in line when they're working but the guy who won the Wii didn't want it and since Hannah already had one and they knew we couldn't find one her husband asked the guy for the ticket to buy the Wii and he bought it for us and you have no idea how many times I wanted to tell you but I wanted it to be a surprise are you surprised?"

I'm pretty sure my husband was picturing me naked. "You cook breakfast, I'm going to set up the Wii," he said hotly.

I blinked. Twice. Three times.

I am writing Nintendo immediately. Be dammed lead painted toys, this Wii contraption is dangerous for women. And addicting.

Me First

It's the time of year when everyone counts down everything. Best books of 2007, best gadgets of 2007, and of course there will be the ego fest we all know as the Oscars to rate the best movies of 2007. (Or more accurately, the smallest budgeted movies released in the fewest theaters in the United States on Christmas whose scripts called for long silences and beautiful women made to look ugly.) US News even released its first high school rankings to go along with the rest of the world's annual display of OCD.

I admit I read them, just to see if I'm totally out of the loop. I don't ever actually act on these lists (except for the high school ranking, that I'm taking pretty seriously). But really, what's the point of these things besides the fun picking who or what makes the cut and free advertising for the makers? Am I supposed to be swayed by 10 or 12 executives who probably live in Manhattan and have little more to do with raising children and cleaning toilets than I do buying $70,000 cars?

And don't even get me started on things as subjective as books and movies. Of all the drivel and brilliance created in our world, how can you whittle it down to 10 or 20 fixed spots? How do you compare engrossing Harry Potter with warm and fuzzy classic Goodnight Moon? It's like asking me to choose rank my left foot over my right. I need them both!!!

The best new book of 07 in our house? Take Care, Good Knight by Shelley Moore Thomas. It's just the right silly for 3-4 year olds, and even Gabe was drawn in by my and Asher's giggles to finish the story with us. It's about what happens with three friendly, little dragons agree to babysit a wizard's cats but can't read his instructions. Cats being stuffed in cupboards and forced to go swimming. Hilarious!!

But I guess we count on those lists, if for nothing else than to remind us that the year is done, I didn't use, read, or watch anything popular and that I really need to get the job ranking the best hotels in the world.

Disneywhirl

Holy cow! If this blog was my baby I'd be Britney Spears ya'll.

What have I been up to? Writing, working, traveling. That pretty much sums it up. I've been to Vegas, Seattle and Orlando (Disneyworld!!) the past three months and that's the most flying I've done in over two years. I loathe flying cross country because I was across the country from my husband and Gabe when 9/11 happened and I hate the thought of being five hours and at least two planes away from my family. But Orlando was a piece of cake.

We took the boys on a long overdue vacation to Disneyworld for six days, one that we had promised since daddy was deployed. It was totally worth the wait. Asher turned four and though Gabe had outgrown Fantasyland and all of the characters (except Donald Duck. He digs Donald) he relished in riding every roller coaster twice since Terry and I had to switch off watching Asher. We even worked out a system so we could hold two FastPasses at the same time by using Asher's ticket. (For those of you who have been so deprived as to never have experienced the magic of Disneyworld, FastPasses allow you to return to a popular ride at an assigned time and only wait for a few minutes, rather than standing in line for an hour debating whether Yoda or Vader is the most powerful Jedi in the universe.Oh, and you can only have one at time.)

Of all the fun, fantasy and food, watching Asher meet Tigger, Pooh and Eeyore right before the park closed and all the Christmas lights were lit, leaving him with extra personal time, was the most memorable. He clutched his hands to his chest like he was meeting Santa Claus himself, and could not stop giggling and grinning and jumping up and down in sheer delight. I only wish I had it on video, but here is a picture (Daddy and Gabe were off riding rides without us...)

...and of the rest of the trip, I will only subject you to these, a mere fraction of the 700+ snapshots I actually took.




Asher's Character dinner birthday with Winnie the Pooh and Friends







This is a shot of the water in "It's a small world," (during which Gabe continually shouted over the song in frustration, "What do they mean it's a small world??") See all that bling? That's coinage ... from the dummies who didn't account for all the thousands of dollars they had already poured into Disney's coffers. Ah well. They're true believers. I, on the other hand, was sure I spotted a silver dollar and thought for a good minute about scooping it up.


Ta-Ta For Now kiddies!

Booze, views, and writing news

The strangest thing happened. I went to Vegas to turn 29 and a half, and I can't remember a thing. (Except that my party of eight and I got into Pure nightclub as VIPs :)






With feeling: Chooooooocccaaaalllllatte


Well, I decided not to write the book. At least not now or for that outlet and it's a good thing because last week I got another writing job with another military market magazine. I'm excited and occasionally want to throw up from fear I cannot write for two magazines and work 26 hours a week and not leave my children manging for crumbs in the kitchen. I'm plotting my long term strategy right now.

In other news, our deck is finished. Yeaaah!!!! And Terry only ended up falling on a table saw, crushing his leg, and hammering his thumb. Totally worth it. Our holiday open house is December 8, so if you want to come, send me an email ;)


My pretty little kitchen that I can now abandon since Terry promised he would grill everyday if I let him build his deck. Ain't love grand?

Book review - Home Fires Burning

Home Fires Burning by Karen Houppert is not your usual military spouse rah rah rah book. It's sold as a book about the military family. The author is an Air Force brat who lost her father to a flying accident while he was on duty, but she is not a military spouse. I want to say she is objective only because it's NOT like some of the god awful books by other mil spouses that I've read about military life, but every once in a while I think she leans a little left and it takes away from her arguments. For example she lauds the military health care system when describing the many benefits military familes receive and uses it as a rebuttal to conservatives who bemoan the the potential dangers of socialized medicine. "Even as conservative insist that a system of socialized medicine would mean inferior care for all, and that we would have to ration resources, the military mini-state has gone about quietly developing just such a system to serve its 1.3 million active-duty soldiers and their 2 million family members. " I have two words in response: Walter Reed. It highlighted a lot of problems that I think are seen throughout the military health care system. Don't you wait forever to get appointments? Have to drive long distances because there are no MTFs nearby, or all of the physicians are busy taking care of soldiers? When Terry was deployed I was fortunate to continue seeing my civilian provider because his civ employer (federal gov't) paid for one year of premiums while he was on active duty. My mil friends said I was "lucky."

She brings up some good points that I don't think are mentioned enough. For example, the military’s unwillingness to acknowledge and more accurately define domestic violence is behind the public curve. Houppert states the DV rates are “2-5 times higher than among civilians depending on which study is consulted” and that the military defines domestic violence as limited to actions against a current legal spouse, rather than how we all know it - betwen any domestic partners.

Houppert quotes extensively from Nancy Shea’s, “The Army Wife,” which scared the hell out of me. I can’t believe this “guidebook” was THE book on how to be a good army wife. The military may have been the first desegregated place in America (according to Colin Powell) but it is the final frontier for feminism in a lot of ways - at least for the spouses.

Overall I thought it was a good book because it balances out the other military life literature that is out there. I say give it a read.

Stuck! Stuck! Stuck!

I'm going to tell you a little secret. I've been asked to write a book about surviving deployment. No big publisher, just a start up, and truthfully I don't think it will get anywhere far, but I can't say yes, and I can't say no. They say you should do the thing that terrifies you, well, this terrifies me. The time, the committment, I just don't know if I'm up for it. I basically feel like a failure right now, so that doesn't help. I dropped my marathon training, I haven't published anything in over a month, and my 30th birthday is around the corner. I just want to feel that energy I felt when I was in college. (Hey, it wasn't THAT long ago.) I could make my mind possess my legs to get out of bed as early as I needed to, to run or study or whatever, and honey, I ain't got it anymore. Sigh. So, I spend most of my days working, researching, writing drafts that never get off my desktop and wondering what will finally light the fire beneath me. Is this just a phase that everyone goes through because I'm a)turning 30 b) still getting back to normal after a deployment or c)always like this, life just never slowed down enough for me to see it?

You know, just because I don't take the time to write anything cool doesn't mean I'm gone :) In fact, I've written three posts that never made it to "live." I thought it would help to tell you about what my days are like.

Gabe started soccer and is in the middle of TKD tournaments. He ROCKS at sparring. Seriously he is amazing. He was MVP for the meet last time. But soccer is another story. We went to his first practice and he was on the verge of tears. "I feel like I'm the worst player," he sniffed. But he didn't want to quit, so I was really proud of him. He is focusing on having fun at the games, but I have to admit that I am nervous for him. The other boys really are good and I just don't want him to feel badly about himself. So, those activities take about 4-5 nights a week.

Then, I have my freelance writing gig. I'm writing monthly for a magazine that some of you mil spouses are familiar with I hope! It's pretty exciting and I'm learning about a lot of other mil spouses who write as well (and get paid!). That, in addition to working, takes most of my time.

Weekends have proven to be rarely relaxing, but always fun. Last weekend we went to a wine tasting at a friends' house where we got into, what else, politics and the war. Me, my husband and a surprisingly articulate 24 year old kid monopolized the conversation, which I normally don't do because I hate talking about politics when I'm trying to have fun and forget. But this time I found myself drawn in. I didn't realize how much I know about the war until my husband turned to me surprised and was like, you're really getting into this! I wasn't "into it" I just can't hold my tongue. So, anyway, it's night with friends, then church, then household chores. This Saturday Gabe has TKD tourney at 1, soccer at 3, then I'm off to a party at 7.

Meanwhile Terry is back at school, pursuing an LLM, working and delusional to think he is going to run the MCM. Fridays roll around like pennies in those funnels you see in the mall. I'm probably the only person who enjoys Mondays. That's when I don't work and Asher and I get to spend some real quality time together.

I hope you are all well, I check all your blogs often :). I will eventually go private, so if you want to have permission to read please write me.

Feeling Blue

So many thoughts have been tumbling through my brain with the tags "blog this" on them, but I just haven't taken the time to do it. I am really thinking about going underground. Meaning, I don't want anyone who knows the "real life" Monique to read this anymore. It's not that I have anything to hide, it's more to protect those that I love because I am very suspicious about who is reading my blog and because I want to write more freely - Terry doesn't want our stuff out there for our family and friends to read. Ok? :) Which I totally understand. So, if you want to be privy to word hell, I mean, well, send me an email word well 7 at yahoo dot com and I will approve you to read. (If no one emails me, I will be further depressed. Read on.)


Anyway, I've been dealing with a truly tipsy boss, sudden onset of insecurity and self-loathing for not being able to do anything I commit to: Running, cleaning my house, stop raiding candy stores, going to bed before midnight. It's like I'm fighting with my inner 4 year old. "I don't wanna take Gabe to Tae Kwon Do, I wanna sit here and pout. Hmph." Seriously I have issues. I am hoping this is only because I'm turning 30 in a couple of months and I haven't met my two goals to write a book and run a marathon. Simple right? Not real creative, but they were mine and they meant something to me. And I feel I've let myself down you know?

That's tough to feel when I (barely) held it together from 05-06, but I did it. My children didn't get taken by social services, I sought help when I needed it and refused anti-depressants when they were encouraged. Soldiers come back to awards and ribbons and praise, and I think sometimes spouses feel like their behind the scenes work is wiped clean when the spouse comes home. I feel that way sometimes. For those of you mommas, it's also like when the baby is born and all that focus on you and your health and your "glow" shifts to the baby. And you're spread eagle on the table, sweaty, fat, and like, "Um, I helped?" Ha ha.

One year home.

I forgot to remind you all. Ter's been home for ONE year!!! He landed at his demob site on July 29, 2006, but didn't get HOME, home, until a few days later. Can you freaking believe it? Don't believe the hype about the one year mark. Things are tough around here. Everything, the emotions, the nightmares, are just beneath the surface, thinly veiled by normal, suburban life. I realized that I think I fight with the old Terry, because the new Terry has a lot to deal with. That was a breakthrough. I'm the one who doesn't want to face the reality of what that year did to him, and to us. We are strong in a lot of ways, but trust me when I say his tour was not like most. All those guys where he was in Fallujah had a rough, rough tour, and I'm just so glad they're home. Well, all but two. And for those two, I'll never forget their survivors. I try to keep life in perspective and not get bogged down by trivial things, or even things not so trivial, but just not important enough to sweat over. Like the fact that I do not like my boss. Or that our car is breaking down and we can't really afford to buy a new one since we just bought a house. Or that I really miss my mom who will not travel because of her seizures. I mean, that stuff sucks, but she's alive right? I'm alive, my kids are healthy, I could be living with a lot worse you know?

For now celebrate with me, the anniversary of this one making it home.

And look us now..

The hottie on the far right is my little sis :)

Good news?

How is it possible that the news media had a positive headline about the casualties in Iraq. Apparently deaths are at an 8 month low. But that number still represents over 70 of our bravest lost their lives in Iraq this month. Still, I'm glad to see the news has found a way to show the work getting done there is getting us somewhere in the realm of winning!

Let the lovers and haters commence with the comments...

Green

I hate to admit it, but all the green press has made me rethink my environmental attitude a little bit. At the commissary, I got paper instead of plastic. I used to dismiss their requests to use paper with a wave of my hand. "When you start making paper bags with handles, I'll start using them," I would say. It's really hard to carry 20 bags of groceries two at a time, up 10 stairs. But, I decided I would suck it up a little and do my part for the environment. I also decided to start turning off my computer at work, and I'm trying to at home. I set my thermometer in my house to 76 degrees.I switch off lights around my house, and we sold our big gas guzzler. I have my eyes set on a 2007 Camry hybrid.

I think what really got my attention was Live Earth. Now, I didn't actually watch any performances, I was just intrigued by all the hype, and because it had no real goal to accomplish but to tell all of us minions to conserve. I think they're all a bunch of hypocrites. But, I do think we are responsible for the earth, we DO waste far too much. Will it make a difference? I don't know. I think of it as little acts of kindness that I would do for a person, only I'm doing it for the sake of my children's future environment. I guess I'm an idealist in that I believe if we ALL did our part, we could make a difference. I don't know if I believe in all the DiCaprio/Gore doomsdayers though.

I just had to...

get P. Hilt's name off the top of my blog...commence with blog surfing...

Scared Straight with Paris Hilton

I am basking in schadenfreude over Paris' return to prison. I could not believe that she got out of jail, leaving us all to speculate what she DID to arrange that, right? wink. wink.

I know that 23 hours a day alone would probably send me into a nervous breakdown too, if my very heart pumping and blood flowing depended on someone with a light and a camera around me 24 hours a day, but seriously (you know where this is going right?) over a million service members from this war alone have spent YEARS, YEARS!! away from their families in a little place called hell Iraq, and don't throw the fit she has. Give her a tranquilizer, or, say, I don't know - a book (same effect I suppose), and turn the camera's off.

And, I truly hope this teaches her and her ilk that you cannot drink and drive!! What if she had killed someone!!!??

Let's all stop patronizing the entire family of Hilton services. I know I did a long time ago.

Larmy Wife

This is day two of our family's first separation from Terry since he returned from Iraq. He is at a course for the Army for a couple of weeks and we all feel like he's in Iraq again, even though he's called about ten times in the last 48 hours. Gabey feels it especially. He cried and I asked him repeatedly if he was ok, until I realized he must be feeling like daddy's in Iraq again, so I just asked him. He sorrowfully nodded yes. I hugged him for a while and then I reminded him that daddy is not in Iraq and he's safe. I think he needed to hear that (maybe I did too.) He went back to his computer game, but when the phone rang and I got off within a couple of minutes, he ran downstairs and asked if it was daddy. I told him yes and that he was calling back in a few minutes. When he did, they talked for a while and Gabe was satisfied for the night.

I never knew the anxiety from the deployment was lingering, until now. I honestly don't know how I would do another deployment, particularly since I am working now. I cleaned my house like a freak this weekend to get ready for having no time to do it during the week. I found two events in Gabe's school folder that I need to attend, and I have little leave time to take off for those events, but he's been begging me to have lunch with him or go to a field trip and I keep saying no, so I have to go to the end of the year stuff now. After a little scare that Terry was being called up again for another deployment, I was forced to face the fact that it is very likely he will do another deployment before he reaches his 20, or more if he wants to climb higher on the chain than LTC. I really didn't think it was possible, but with the world the way it is and the military in the shape it's in, I think they'll call him up again. Also, someone told me Reserve soldiers don't have the same protection that Guard does. Guard has an unofficial policy limiting deployments but the Reserves do not. And it came from a pretty reliable source, so I'm obliged to believe it. My friend, active Army wife, who told me gave me a side hug and said, "Your in it with us, girl!" heh.

On a side note, I watched Lifetime's new show Army Wives and I actually liked it. I was damn near moved to tears watching the homecoming scene when the female, black, LTC wife comes home from Afghanistan (love that they threw in her role for diversity). I love spunky little Roxy, and I even like the Col's wife. :) Anyway, I'm curious to see what everyone else thought. If they watched the show.

I also realized that I usually don't like to tread on the active Army wife's experience and end up downplaying my own reserve wife status because I only play the active role for short spurts when he goes on active duty for, oh, war, and things like that, but I think now that I am at a huge disadvantage as a reserve wife. I had to work my butt off to find any sort of group support or camaraderie because I'm not immersed in that life 24-7 and no other "lawyer's wife" (isn't it funny how Army wives are defined by their spouses' job, but no one else calls themself a "cop's wife", or "teacher's wife", or "consultant's wife") could understand this double line we walk in this life as civilians who don't just play weekend warrior anymore. So I decided I need my own name. It's Larmy Wife. Sounds French doesn't it? Maybe I'll spell it like this L'army Wife...

Tagged for threesies

I’m so excited to be tagged by Household 6!! I thought I’d lost all my blogger friends by now :)

Three Things That Scare Me
1. Not having money in the bank
2. Bird flu
3. and for something not so heavy…crickets.


Three People Who Make Me Laugh
1. My husband (he’ll be surprised to read that)
2. Steve Carell
3. My boys

Three Things I Love
1. Tillamook chocolate peanut butter ice cream (can’t get it here)
2. Road trips with my husband and boys
3. Acceptance letters

Three Things I Hate
1. Me procrastinating or being negative.
2. Snobs – especially preachy celebrities.
3. Losing things. It really puts me in a bad mood, which triggers number one.

Three Things I Don't Understand
1. Racism
2. Why people don’t vote
3. Why we glorify and over pay athletes and actors.

Three Things On My Desk
1. A picture of my husband and kids at a baseball game
2. And old bowl of cereal
3. Bills

Three Things I'm Doing Right Now
1. Duh.
2. smelling pizza cook
3. lamenting my bills

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Take a year to travel Europe with my family
2. Write a book about a rocking female protagonist – Where in my imagination is my 21st century Jane Eyre?
3. See my grandchildren grow up

Three Things I Can Do
1. Dance
2. Write
3. I’m really good at first impressions, but it’s usually downhill from there

Three Things I Can't Do
1. Speak fluent Spanish. One of my great regrets
2. Sit in a meeting for more than 30 minutes without my eyes glazing over or yawning
3. change a tire

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To
1. Daughtry. He is amazing
2. I agree with HH6 – you gotta trust your gut.
3. Your children. They will remember it.

Three Things You Should Never Listen To
1. Any artists that degrade women
2. Anyone who tells you, you can’t do something
3. The woman giving you parenting advice who has never had children. You’ll usually find her in the mall or restaurant with perfectly manicured nails and a husband with a vice on his cajones.

Three Things I'd Like To Learn
1. To speak spanish
2. To control my temper
3. write consistently

Three Favorite Foods
1. Chocolate
2. Cheesecake
3. My grandmother’s enchiladas

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid
1. Little House on the Prairie
2. Knight Rider
3. The Smurfs!!!

I tag:
Heidi
CaliValleyGirl
Suburban Joe

Humor me people...

Another Memorial Day

There are many names to remember this Memorial Day 2007. These are the ones on my mind:

Sean Sims, Heidi and Colin
Tom Wren, his wife and children
Tyler Swisher, his wife and children
Robert Hernandez, his fiancee and children

Joel, his wife Mary and children

Rest in peace guys.

The price of a service member

"Memorial Day orators will say that a G.I.'s life is priceless. Don't believe it. I know what value the U.S. government assigns to a soldier's life: I've been handed the check. It's roughly what the Yankees will pay Roger Clemens per inning once he starts pitching next month."

This was written by a man who opposes the war, and lost his son in Iraq. Isn't it the saddest commentary about our nation's real priorities that you have ever heard? And the blame must lie partially with us consumers....

What's been going on

Well, I met the prez. Again :) in the east wing for mil spouse appreciation day event. He is not my favorite person, but he's still the most powerful man in the free world.

Outside of that, we've just been working on our house. I don't have a before, but here is an after in the main living:

Before Bath:

After Bath:

Those are the two big projects. And my husband, if we were talking in person, would interrupt at this point to say he did it all himself. :) Then we found these awesome panels for the, I-don't-know-what-to-call-it-room, off the kitchen. But you'll have to wait until we get the sheer, and double hanging rods up to see them :) Oh, and the fridge I'm in love with: (preview of the pretty curtains. And Ash)

Gabe also took SECOND place at his first tournament for the individual sparring portion this weekend!!

Terry also got a new job. He'll finally be trying cases instead of just writing :)
Life is good.

Have home, must paint

I have a new house, and it's keeping me crazy busy, so no real posts anytime soon. But I have to say I got excited chills knowing that the Queen was visiting. It's so amazing how all out Americans went to meet her. There is something calming about the formality and awe she evokes, especially in the midst of war.

Troops and VT

I've shed a few tears for the victims at Virginia Tech, but not as I do whenever I even think of service members killed in war. I hate to weigh tragedies like fat celebrities, it's not a competition in horror, but I know I'm not the only one to connect the two. Actually, it wasn't that difficult since the next day newspapers ran the obligatory Iraq violence report which was, that day, over 300 deaths from blasts in Iraq - and it never made a leading headline.

I've been trying to understand why I feel a degree of numbness to the VT killings. Those kids were the same age as many of our casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan, and even more, they were victims of chance, unlike a SAW wielding man in uniform whose job is ultimately to kill or be killed. If anything, I should feel worse for those students and teachers, but I don't. I've read the features about a particular victim, tried to get to know who they were as individuals and not numbers, but every time I do, I think, "What about our troops?" I don't think their deaths evoke the same level of shock when they are killed, four years into this war. Sadness, and verbal beating for the president? Yes. Shock? No.

Don't misunderstand, my imagination cannot fathom how utterly terrified those students must have been to see every other person shot right next to them. It was sobering to read of the Holocaust survivor who gave his life so his students could escape.

Nevertheless, it's all tragic, a frightening reminder of the evil, crazed people that walk among us until they snap.

And speaking of people who snap. I was completely disgusted that 99 percent of national newspapers ran photos of the murderer on the front page, guns pointed into the camera. (And consider that if you cut and pasted Angelina Jolie's face on his, it would have been an ad for Tomb Raider.) I had to dig deep to remember my news design and layout courses, but I did see that some editors at least tried to let their front page photos represent the order of priority in this tragedy - victims first. Those editors had large photos of mourning students and family members juxtaposed with a photo of Cho, one third the size of the larger image. Don't get me started on NBC running the videos. Why not just tell every mentally unstable person who is at the brink of insanity that they, too, can become famous by going on a killing spree, just so long as they give NBC the scoop.

Also, the thought occurred to me: somewhere on an otherwise empty golf course, Don Imus and Gary Condit are comparing stories.

I promise to deliver a more cheerful post soon. We're closing on our new home Wed!