Larmy Wife

This is day two of our family's first separation from Terry since he returned from Iraq. He is at a course for the Army for a couple of weeks and we all feel like he's in Iraq again, even though he's called about ten times in the last 48 hours. Gabey feels it especially. He cried and I asked him repeatedly if he was ok, until I realized he must be feeling like daddy's in Iraq again, so I just asked him. He sorrowfully nodded yes. I hugged him for a while and then I reminded him that daddy is not in Iraq and he's safe. I think he needed to hear that (maybe I did too.) He went back to his computer game, but when the phone rang and I got off within a couple of minutes, he ran downstairs and asked if it was daddy. I told him yes and that he was calling back in a few minutes. When he did, they talked for a while and Gabe was satisfied for the night.

I never knew the anxiety from the deployment was lingering, until now. I honestly don't know how I would do another deployment, particularly since I am working now. I cleaned my house like a freak this weekend to get ready for having no time to do it during the week. I found two events in Gabe's school folder that I need to attend, and I have little leave time to take off for those events, but he's been begging me to have lunch with him or go to a field trip and I keep saying no, so I have to go to the end of the year stuff now. After a little scare that Terry was being called up again for another deployment, I was forced to face the fact that it is very likely he will do another deployment before he reaches his 20, or more if he wants to climb higher on the chain than LTC. I really didn't think it was possible, but with the world the way it is and the military in the shape it's in, I think they'll call him up again. Also, someone told me Reserve soldiers don't have the same protection that Guard does. Guard has an unofficial policy limiting deployments but the Reserves do not. And it came from a pretty reliable source, so I'm obliged to believe it. My friend, active Army wife, who told me gave me a side hug and said, "Your in it with us, girl!" heh.

On a side note, I watched Lifetime's new show Army Wives and I actually liked it. I was damn near moved to tears watching the homecoming scene when the female, black, LTC wife comes home from Afghanistan (love that they threw in her role for diversity). I love spunky little Roxy, and I even like the Col's wife. :) Anyway, I'm curious to see what everyone else thought. If they watched the show.

I also realized that I usually don't like to tread on the active Army wife's experience and end up downplaying my own reserve wife status because I only play the active role for short spurts when he goes on active duty for, oh, war, and things like that, but I think now that I am at a huge disadvantage as a reserve wife. I had to work my butt off to find any sort of group support or camaraderie because I'm not immersed in that life 24-7 and no other "lawyer's wife" (isn't it funny how Army wives are defined by their spouses' job, but no one else calls themself a "cop's wife", or "teacher's wife", or "consultant's wife") could understand this double line we walk in this life as civilians who don't just play weekend warrior anymore. So I decided I need my own name. It's Larmy Wife. Sounds French doesn't it? Maybe I'll spell it like this L'army Wife...