Saturday, December 29, 2007

HoodWiinked

I can keep a secret about as well as Google, so when my colleague told me, gently, so I would not scream, that her husband had brokered a Wii for my husband son at the retail store where he works, I spent the last five days before Christmas shoving food into my mouth to stop the word "Wii" from squeaking out.

This year, I alone would hold the title of Coolest Parent. Terry wouldn't even know what hit him.

On the celebration of the day of our Lord's birth, I brushed off the last flecks of glitter still clinging to my four-year-old "Mommy's little deer" sweatshirt that Gabe made me wear each year, adjusted the heap of mass on my head to rearrange the greasy spots, and slid the rectangular shape in front of my husband.

"The last one's for daddy," I singsonged, then honked, "Not!" and pushed it in front of Gabe. They both looked at me confused. "Open it!" I squealed, then clamped my mouth with my hands.

Gabe lifted one flap of one side of wrapping paper and calmly declared: "It's a Wii," as if a long awaited male heir to a throne had been confirmed.

Not the shredding of paper and tackle of affection and laughter I had envisioned.

Then Terry, eyes protuberant, mouth agape, "What!? How did you get that?!"

The dam burst: "Hannah's husband got one when they had a drawing at his work for the employees to buy a Wii 'cause they never get to stand in line to buy one 'cause they're always working when the store opens and they can't wait in line when they're working but the guy who won the Wii didn't want it and since Hannah already had one and they knew we couldn't find one her husband asked the guy for the ticket to buy the Wii and he bought it for us and you have no idea how many times I wanted to tell you but I wanted it to be a surprise are you surprised?"

I'm pretty sure my husband was picturing me naked. "You cook breakfast, I'm going to set up the Wii," he said hotly.

I blinked. Twice. Three times.

I am writing Nintendo immediately. Be dammed lead painted toys, this Wii contraption is dangerous for women. And addicting.

8 comments:

Silver said...

Dare I ask, did you really state everything without taking a breath when the damn burst? Because if you did, holy dang, that must've been one large inhale! lol

I'm also a little confused about the "husband picturing me naked" line. That totally threw me off, because I was thinking about Nintendo, then you throw that little sweatheart of a comment in to totally mess with my head.

Nicely done though! If you'd like some other people's Mii's running around, here's my Wii number: 6694 5135 9555 9932.
Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Monique, LMAO!!!!! I scored a Wii, too, only I have no husband to picture me naked, so maybe yours could do me the favor??

Kidding, heh.

Oh, and I paid a freaking bloody fortune for the thing so it BETTER be used at least daily. :-))

Merry Christmas! I owe you email. I swear I will respond.

MQ said...

You got one!! I would have never had it not been for Gabe's not so subtle hints since Thanksgiving. Terry really wanted to get him one and my reaction was something like this: No.

Buuuut I kept picturing Gabe telling his friends how awesome his parents were and thanking us at his Harvard graduating class for always getting him what he wanted for Christmas and I got on the Wii bandwagon. I have to say it's pretty freakin' awesome! Miss you still!

Heidi said...

You are so funny! And yes they are very cool . . . happy Wii-ing! Happy 2008!

Brandon Cackowski-Schnell said...

Enjoy it! If you need any game recommendations, let me know. I've played a ton of 'em. ;)

Anonymous said...

WIIDICULOUS....WII words are many around this household as well. My brother workes at Costco and does stocking, so we had TWO under the tree this Christmas one for my sisters family and one for ours, Joel went absolutely NUTS!! Took the kids to see Santa and both kids asked for the Wii, Santa's response, "why so you can go wii wii wii all the way home". Has created an endless list of jr. high boy jokes around this household. Congratulations and I agree WHAT A BLAST the thing is!!

MaryAnn

Anonymous said...

What's up lady? Happy New Year to you and yours.

Cheers,
TBone (aka Tony)

Nicole said...

I'm sooooo behind. I think I checked out of the game world after I mastered "Duck Hunt"....remember that? Lol. Glad that your boys (all 3) got what they wanted for Christmas. :)