i luv u send.

Is emailing life changing information to friends and family a recent phenomenon, or is it just my friends and family?

I’m not talking about tackiness as seen in the Radio Shack mass firing I’m talking about the sharing of emotional news here, people. Heart to hearts. Remember those? It’s when human contact with someone that does not require QWERTY makes your heart flutter, eyes well up, or the tummy go flip flop. Think hard, blogging has a way of sucking it out of all of us. I know because whenever I uncoil myself from the office chair and, when the circulation returns to my legs, am drawn to the light in the living room my husband says my eyes look a little glazed, and I try to remember who he is.

(Funny how staring into the glazed eyes of their female partner stirs men’s “emotions” below the waist more than clear eyes do. )

Anyway, I'm not passing judgment or anything, but I am saying: You’re lazy.

Ok, ok, I confess I have e-moted too. Let's just agree that the blogosphere is one big dumping ground of emotions so we've all done it. But to be specific, I'm sure that I emailed news about Terry's crappy experiences in Iraq because I didn't want to make 30 phone calls and it wasn't like he was severely physically injured. It was like, "Oh, hey, thought you should know he was in an IED, but he's fine."

Crap that sounds terrible, but I'm going to share something with you, my dear bloggers, that will demonstrate just how out of control e-moting is. Pick which piece of news I have learned about friends/family via electronic communication:

a) "He cheated on me"
b) "I have cancer"
c) "I'm getting married."
d) "I'm divorced"
e) "I'm eating lunch at Panera Bread"
f) Everything but E

I'll give you a minute to think about your answer.


YES! YES! All of those but E!!! I have learned life-changing news about people I dearly love VIA EMAIL!!! While I understand why, since I don't want to make a thousand phone calls either, I'm also vain enough to think everyone is thinking about me all the time and is like, "Oh my gosh, I HAVE to tell Monique this" (and, btw, if you have a blog you ARE that person too) and so I expect people to pick up that little device with buttons on it called numbers and CALL about anything having to do with babies, babies’ mommas, babies’ daddies, anything you found out through a blood test, a urine sample, or a private detective.

Now, one could make an argument for letter writing instead of emailing too, but then we are on a downward spiral towards a chisel and stone all in the name of love or nostalgia. In our familially (is that a word?) decentralized world the telephone is still the best way to say, "I love you and want to talk to you, but I'm broke so I can't actually be there to share this news in person."

Besides, don’t people want a reaction when sharing important news? If I were to call with the sound bites I listed earlier, this is the reaction I would want:
a) "What a bastard. I’ll have him killed.”
b) "Oh my gosh you must be scared. When can I come see you?"
c) “Congratulations! Are you having an open bar at the wedding?"
d) "He never deserved you and will never find anyone as good as you.”
e) "I'll meet you there at 12"

Call me with this news people. CAAAAAALLL! Or one day you’re going to get an email from me from the grave and then you won’t be able to yell at me about it.

Huh. Now that I think about it that could be a very lucrative business.