Being an adult sucks. You know it. I know it. You have to pay bills, accept that student loans aren't "good debt," gain weight, break up with friends who you find out slept with old boyfriends, decide between that sexy new shirt and something practical like - vitamins, stop eating cookie dough, limit your alcohol intake, take cholesterol tests and have your privates picked at by perfect strangers once a year. On your birthday. And that's not even the really shitty stuff.
An upcoming conference where I'll have to face hundreds of beaming college freshman, who I'll probably have to ask for a job in a couple of years, reminded me of how much my life has changed since the last time I remember NOT feeling like a responsible adult. Yes, as a student I was technically an adult, but I didn't feel like it - and I was PARENT!!! We were still in college and our parents were our emergency fund. Now, we have a real one and I'm pretty sure my parents think I'M their emergency fund.
Just three years ago I was preggers with Ash, working part time, in school part time, packing to move across the country to our first jobs in the real world, while Terry was already there studying for the Bar exam.
Now, Ash is going to be three, Gabe's 3rd grade homework is stumping me, the soldier in Terry still overshadows the civilian, and I'm officially one of those people whose obits will one day read, "Monique. Volunteer" because that's all I do anymore. (Not that I'm complaining but I sure could use a paycheck, but then we've already had that discussion.) This was only three years ago people!!!
So as an official adult I'm wondering, now that I know life doesn't make sense and really sucks sometimes but you can decide your life by the attitude you live it by even if you don't always have the energy to assume that face, does it get worse? I mean, I haven't experienced "the worst" but my eyes are opened that I'm not immune to it just because I'm young and fabulous.
Are there more realizations that will still wash over me each decade like waves of nausea? Like, at 30 will I spit on the first 21 year old who says "you're only as old as you feel", and at 40 will I start selling my blood plasma for Botox injections after I'm arrested for caressing an 18-year-old's wrinkle-free skin? (I've already been tempted more than once to stroke a friend's childless, flat abs - and then punch her in the face.) Tell me honestly, are all the horrifying realizations about the suckiness of growing up, over? Or should I just submit to adulthood and buy some mom jeans?
10 comments:
You know I'm kind of kidding. And kind of not :) And truthfully, you'll have to drag me kicking and screaming into mom jeans!! I'm more likely to be the cougar at my son's high school football game wearing a crop top and hot shorts.LOL!!
cute
I don't have children but I've found myself wondering those very same things...I can't tell you how many times I've wondered how long it will be before I find myself thinking that elastic waistbands and tapered legs look fashionable...lol. Although that's hard to imagine, it seems inevitable. I look back at old pictures of my mother (we're talking the mid-1970s here) and she looks like a completely different person...her response: getting older will be different than you think.
Aye maye!
It's wonderful!! Just count the daily blessings....remember if you were at work you would WISH you were at home....why is it that we are never content. I struggle with the same things, but if we remember to count the good things about it we won't focus on what we aren't happy with, why is it that us adults can't just be content. Oh well, I know the feelings, I am pushing that 40 line (I am NOT 40 yet though!!) and wow it is painful.
I don't have kids of my own, so maybe my experience is too far from yours. But I can tell you that I'm about to turn 41, and life has only gotten better (granted, it took until the mid-30s for the upswing to start).
I've had to give up the hoochie mama skirts (not the shirts...yet), but it's a small price to pay for finally knowing who I am, and being comfortable with that, and letting people deal with me on those terms.
This has been the case for a lot of my girlfriends, too, so I'd like to think it's a widespread phenomenon. Don't invest in too many appliqued holiday sweatshirts just yet....
I see you still $$$ on those hot shoes.
I know. We spend spend spend...
Turning 30 kicks ass. At least it did for me. I agree with Bette's comments about finally figuring out who you are around that age. Then again, I didn't have kids until after that, so maybe that had something to do with it.
Life only gets better. I will turn 43 this year and have never felt better in my life. I didn't even give birth to my first child until I was 41. As you age, you become more aware of who you are. You become more comfortable in your skin so to speak. You don't care what others think. You live your life the way you want :)Just embrace each passing year and enjoy each adventure you encounter along the way.
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