But it was my fellow alumni who really freaked me out. Every time a new speaker presented or alum arrived late we had to go around and state our name, rank and serial number. The, "What are you doing now [that we gave you 90k in free education]?" question made me sweat more than anything else. I think I usually had to follow the guy who was an M.D./Ph.D student studying diabetes' affect on the liver at MIT , so it was always fun to watch peoples' impressed smiles turn to me while I locked my legs around my chair to keep me from bolting from the room and offered many creative answers like:
"I'm a freelancer" (no skill offered)
"I'm a full-time volunteer"
"I'm a stay at home mom"
and my personal fave
"I'm on a sabbatical from work."
I did mention once that my husband had returned home from Iraq but that elicited too many blank stares as to what that had to do with what I was "doing" now. Well, to be fair, a few people did thank him for his service. And then gave blank stares. I had to hold myself back from getting on my soapbox about how much families have sacrificed in this war.
I couldn't even relate to the lone other mother who happened to hold the same graduate degree as myself and is married to a sailor who served in Iraq. No offense to the Navy, but when she told me he spent six months on a boat, I smiled and mentally checked out of the conversation. Just not much to relate to, which was confirmed when during a night of drinking/unveiling of true personalities, she said she wasn't one of those wives who stood on the dock saying how proud she was to serve her country as the spouse of a serviceman. She confessed she would be standing in front of a news camera where they would have to bleep out every other one of her words. I responded, verbatim, "I'm one of those wives who say how proud I am." At which point the conversation ended to the sound of crickets and someone ordered another round of drinks.
I am different from this year. I still feel like a military family, but we're "bastardized" as my husband put it, from many post activities since we are no longer active duty so I don't fit in there either. I hope in time I will retain my loyalty to the active Army family, but feel more like a civilian.
Nevertheless I had a wonderful time and was truly inspired by the upcoming generation of scholars. They are incredible and will make a difference in this world I have no doubt. And to end on a good note here were some other highlights:
- I met Dr. Randal Pinkett, winner of The Apprentice, season 5. That was cool. Pics later. I asked him why he didn't want to share his win with Rebecca, the other finalist. He got on HIS soapbox and told me why. Everyone got a kick out of watching him get excited (he was laughing, but serious too). She didn't raise any money for her charity and he raised 50k, plus he won all his challenges, so he was insulted that Trump would ask him to share the win.
- I met a student whose dad served in Iraq as a reservist. He handled IEDs. As a civilian he is a bus driver. That really moved me, man. Talk about a citizen warrior...
- We stayed in a kick ass hotel.
- My room had crickets and we had to switch at 1am.
- I ate the best food of my life
- I met people who inspire and challenge me. I'm sure one of them will be president one day, when I will humbly take pride in my association with them.
13 comments:
I loved Randall on the Apprentice! That's awesome! He is an MIT graduate, right?
"and in my free time I like to find factual errors in encyclopedias." HAHAHAhaha...Er, hmm.
I had a meeting this morning with a woman who described all of her children in that vein. I now know their IQs, hobbies, achievements, etcetera ad nauseum. Her six year old is already planning on being a neurosurgeon and attends a special school to further that goal.
I left feeling completely inadequate.
M- You changed your room at 0100 because you heard a cricket in there? About how many pounds did this carnivore weigh?
JR- That woman's six year old isn't planning anything. Mom's needs won't be met by forcefully creating the next Doogie Howser. When/if junior doesn't measure up to mom's expectations, you'll see a repeat of "The Great Santini" .
Last comment by WPJ.
"I couldn't even relate to the lone other mother who happened to hold the same graduate degree as myself and is married to a sailor who served in Iraq. No offense to the Navy, but when she told me he spent six months on a boat, I smiled and mentally checked out of the conversation."
So, you suffered more than she (and her family) did? He served in a different way than your husband but she served no different than you.
You are absolutely WRONG last commenter. I love every man or woman in uniform. The Navy boys supported me when I was on the ground beyond belief; specifically they covered us from the sky after I was in an IED – they stayed until they had no more fuel, just to make sure an ambush was not in the works. All who serve in Iraq are part of an important team – an American team.
However, my wife DID suffer more then most spouses and more than a spouse of a service member who was on a boat during their tour – she worried about me every single day and it did not help that I got my Purple Heart the first week I was in country. My experience in Iraq has taught me that everybody’s reality is their own… meaning that the guy who lives on a FOB for his entire year and is in one mortar attack feels just as scared and “in the mix” as guys that I served with who were in multiple IEDs and fire fights. Both served bravely and with distinction but it is different. So for my wife to say she couldn’t relate to someone that did not go through the same fears is both reasonable and accurate.
With Respect,
CPT R
US ARMY
I know what you mean about mentally checking out of the conversation once you hear thier husband was on a ship for six months, as compared to boots on the ground in Iraq. There is a big difference. I know I would breathe a hell of a lot easier if my husband was on a ship and not getting shot at everyday.
Anonymous- Of course there is a difference if a spouse is serving in Iraq or on a ship. You still have the separation, but the imminent danger you worry about can reasonably be applied only to the spouse serving in Iraq. The USS Cole bombing was tragic and completely preventable, but that's a different story. Aside from that, where's the danger? If you polled 100 Navy spouses whose partner was deployed on a ship to the Persian gulf, about how many would you guess spent countless sleepless nights worrying about "roadside" IEDs, mortar attacks, and suicide bombers? MQ is not minimizing that spouse whose husband was serving on a ship. There is a difference and perhaps if you walked a mile in her shoes, or any spouse in a similar situation, you would know what that difference felt like.
Last comment by WPJ
I like WPJ (not in a gay way of course)
AR
I like melanie too
Hey, checking in to see how things have been. Good to see you!
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