Make it gay

Terry and I spent three days in NYC this week and somehow, at both of our nighttime venues, we ended up being one of the only straight couples around.

After catching up with our family (visiting NYC from NZ) while gorging on $12 sandwiches at Katz (the famous spot where Meg Ryan faked an orgasm on When Harry Met Sally) we went to see the Broadway show Avenue Q.

Hi-lar-ious. It is the Broadway version of Team America only the subject is human nature. It is Sesame Street for adults. And I MEAN ADULTS. Ever see two puppets have sex? It's just as uncomfortable as watching humans do it. And it wasn't a sex-filled show, some undersexed man just managed to find a way to get it in the script. The humor was really in the irreverence and airing out of humanity (or maybe just Americans). Take my favorite songs from the show for example:

(Hear Sesame street jingles as the tunes to these lyrics here)

"Everyone's a little bit racist"
Everyone's a little bit racist Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist Okay!
Ethnic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh becauseThey're based on truth.
Don't take them as Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them - So relax!

"Schadenfreude"
NICKY:Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?What's that, some kinda Nazi word?
GARY COLEMAN:Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"
NICKY:"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German! Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
NICKY:Ooh, how about...Straight-A students getting Bs?
GARY COLEMAN:Exes getting STDs!
NICKY:Waking doormen from their naps!
GARY COLEMAN:Watching tourists reading maps!
NICKY:Football players getting tackled!
GARY COLEMAN:CEOs getting shackled!
NICKY:Watching actors never reach
GARY AND NICKY:The ending of their oscar speech!Schadenfreude!Schadenfreude!Schadenfreude!Schadenfreude!

"I wish I could go back to college"
I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God!I am totally gonna go far!"

So you get it right?

Anyway, there was a gay-man/puppet-trapped-in-a-straight man/republican's-body storyline, which revealed all the gay couples sitting around us and at that point we felt quite conspicuous. But it was only preparing us for the next evening when we saw Michele Balan, third place finalist in the NBC show Last Comic Standing, live at the Gotham theater.

I loved LCS this year and I thought Michele would win. She's freaking hilarious. And being the blond that I am, I was the only LCS fan who didn't know she was gay. Not a big deal except when you're a straight couple with another straight couple and the comedian straight up asks if your husband is your uncle's lover, it's rather like going to high school naked . Yeah. Awkward. Every eyeball in the cozy room was fixated on us. The conversation went something like this:

Michele: (To Terry's uncle) Are you a couple? (Pointing to Terry)
Bruce: (laughing) No. This is my wife (pointing across the table to his wife, who is sitting next to me. Looking back, I see our choice of seats could have changed the entire course of the conversation)
Terry: He's my uncle. This is my wife, they're visiting from New Zealand...
Michele: (listening patiently) Ok, folks that's all the time I have tonight
Laughter - me ribbing Terry
Michele: (To Bruce) How long have you been married?
Patty: 28 years.
Applause
Michele: Did you know I was gay?
Bruce: No.
Michele: Does that change anything for you?
Bruce: No, not at all.
Michele: What's you're name sir?
Bruce: Bruce
Michele: You know that's a gay name, right?
Laughter

Later she asked all the straight people to raise their hands. Us four sheepishly raise our hands and look around. Yup. Just us. Out of 100 people, we're the only straight couples, or at least those willing to admit it.

But it wasn't all about sexuality, Michele is too funny for words and nice too. We chatted with her a bit after the show. Drunk, of course. We wanted to be sure to meet the two drink minimum requirement and the two bottles of wine and pomegranate martini sure did cover it. See. Silly face with Michele -


Lastly (well, earlier that day), we had lunch at this cute little restaraunt called Home. We ate in what was essentially a backyard, but it was like a little oasis in the middle of the city. Here's a view looking up and in front.