Letting the pieces fall back into place...

One of the classes offered to us couples reuniting after a deployment is called, "Putting things back together." Now, I don't want to be caught up in semantics, but it does make you think.
One, we were broken apart while he was gone. Two, that those pieces of us can fit together the same way they did before. That's the part I have a problem with. The shape of "us" individually and therefore as a family, has changed. We're not just putting it back together, we're reshaping our lives in a way.

I have few actual behavioral differences. Asher has changed the most. He'll keep Terry at a distance still. He'll wrestle and play but won't let him put him to bed and reprimanding Asher reduces him to a puddle of tears. It's very strange. I know Asher knows this is the daddy he's seen on video and photos. He begged to watch Terry on TV, tapes he made before he left when Asher was only one. And now, here he has the chance to be with him all the time and he holds him at a distance.

Gabe seems unchanged. He reads better. Whines a little more, which drives Terry insane, but really he has adjusted well. I tuck him in at night and try to capture that excitement of daddy being home again, "Can you believe it! Can you believe he's here?" A smile will replace the bedtime frown and he'll nod his head yes. I'll ask him, "How do you feel about having him home?" He shrugs and says, "Good." "Do you have any questions?" "No." And I believe him.

If only we could accept life as simply as children. Daddy is home. Life is good. Terry and I complicate it. Ok fine, I complicate it. He's home and I'm like up and down. More up days than down as time goes on. But it's like I have this unglossy view on life now. It doesn't make sense and we have only so much control over it. It's made me sad.

But today we had one of those days that ended up being so great for no particular reason. We spent the first half getting ready for our trip to NYC to visit family. Then we decided to go see Barnyard: The Original Party Animals (I must write something about this movie, it was way too intense for kids and not quite funny enough for adults). After the bizarre movie, we walked outside to a party! Not for us, but to a weekly music event that's been taking place (unbeknownst to me) at a local shopping plaza. It was funky, salsa, swing, rock music. Perfect for a warm summer evening. People were relaxing in camping chairs all over the courtyard, young adults, old couples, parents and young kids were all dancing up front by the band and we were just swept up in the energy. Terry had to grab some ice cream and Gabe, not the dancer, went with him. But Asher! He danced right there on the sidewalk until they came out with sugar cones stacked with vanilla ice cream. He grabbed his cone and just kept on shakin' his booty. People started watching HIM instead of the band! Anyway, we slowly moved up to the dancing floor and danced as a family until the band ended their set.

Finally, no drama, no stress, no anxiety, we were just an American family soaking up a summer evening...