Music for my heart

I'm listening to music incessantly. I'm feening for an emotional catharsis.

I was talking to my brother-in-law on the phone last night and started crying. I was trying to explain though, that I'm ok. I just need to cry once in a while, like exercise. And when I listen to certain songs it's the same thing, it exercises my heart without the embarrassment of tears. I hate crying. (Guess that's sort of contradictory towards this post) ::sheepish::

I've never been one for sloppy, silly romance. (See Manic Mom's perfect day - that's mine too.) And I am fully aware that the last time I made "mixes" was in high school, hiding under my covers pushing play and record on the dual cassette tapes of my boombox, creating something for some dance like Tolo when I had no idea what a relationship even was. Silly.

Music is free therapy right now. (Wait. I take that back. It's 99 cents a song.) I make these mixes for Terry, making his third CD right now, and I make a copy for myself. I think we're connected by listening to the same things. When he was home on leave we listened to the first CD I made him and we were both nodding our heads like, "yeah, these are OUR songs." (We didn't have a "song" at our wedding.)

It's strange how the simple act of making a thoughtful selection for a mix puts a personal stamp on an old song. So from now on, everytime I hear any of these songs I'll think of us and this time. Hmm. ::scratching head:: That could backfire later. Oh well.

The words to these songs mean the things I can't say because I'm out of vocabulary to capture the purgatory that deployment is. So here are a couple of song lyrics that say what I can't right now.

Terry, hope your reading. Three packages are in the mail tomorrow; food, letters, music :) xoxo
"If you can promise me you'll never die, I'll sleep with you right now."
"I. will. never. die."
-Team America!

Keith Urban - Making memories of us. You must understand that it takes courage for me to publicly proclaim a country song. The only country I do are the love songs, happy love songs I should clarify. Terry forces me to listen to the patriotic ones, which I find a bit cheesy sometimes. Anyway, love the lyrics to this one. I'm sure you've heard of it. Here's an excerpt:

I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us,


Des'ree -Kissing You - So beautifully sung. She has a voice that you have to sit down and close your eyes to, just to drink it all in. This is from a terrible movie, the remake of Romeo and Juliet back in the 90's, but this song alone redeems it.


Pride can stand
A thousand Trials
The Strong will never fall
But watching Stars without You My Soul cried
Grieving heart is full of Pain
of, of The Aching

'Cause I'm Kissing You
I'm Kissing You, Love
Touch Me Deep
Pure and True
Gift to Me Forever
'Cause I'm
Kissing You, oh I'm Kissing You, Love
Where are You now?
Where are You now?
'Cause I'm Kissing You

By your side - Sade Normally Sade reminds me of elevator music, but this song, mmmm, it's so beautiful. Says it all and in a drizzling hot fudge on - pick your platter or person ;) - kind of way.

You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave down when you're down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that
I'll do you right when you're wrong

If only you could see into me
When you're cold I'll be there to hold you tight to me
When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, you're so much better than you know
When your lost, when you're alone and you can't get back again
I will find you darling I'll bring you home

If you want to cry I am here to dry your eyes and in no time you'll be fine

Coldplay - Fix you Sometimes it's hard to separate your feelings for the person behind the song you love, from the art. I'm afraid Coldplay is guilty by association to Gwyneth Paltrow, but I make an exception for this song. I think it's actually more the sound of the song than the words that I like, but hey it's my list...

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lastly, I must give a plug to Jeremy Camp. Christian music has evolved so much. I will actually listen to it by choice now, instead of forced by my parents back in the day...So, go here and listen to the first track, Restored.

And share your favorite songs. I'm always looking for more...