Birthdays

Yesterday was my birthday. I will not say how old I was but I'm still under 30 so I'm not too depressed yet. I realized that I've rarely had a big celebration and I plan to have a big bash for my 30th, whenever that year is...;)

I didn't do anything special except shop, watch a movie and have dinner with a couple of friends, which I guess is pretty special for me! I had an entire day off from being a mom/housecleaner/nosewiper/homework helper/cook. That was pretty awesome! I had to fight depression though because I've been consumed by fears of avian bird flu and the war in Iraq. Terry's been safe, but I don't know, I just have been worried lately. I guess I just really miss him. I'm mostly worried about tha bird flu thing - that really FREAKS me out. And my pediatrician (Asher had to go in for an ear infection and a flu shot with Gabe. Two separate visits) said that they're freaked out too. Great. I feel so much better.

I'm beginning to wonder if I need professional help with all this worrying and inability to relax even on my birthday. I can't seem to figure out what the hell I want. I was indecisive about what I wanted to do with a day of freedom and like I said, ended up at the mall with my friend. I suppose that was ok, but jeez, I had such little imagination that I couldn't go anywhere except the mall????? Ugh. I hope this is all due to the deployment and not just the crazy person I'm becoming as a stay at home mom.