Busy=important

I have been going 100 miles an hour since Memorial Day. I was determined not to spend it alone and sad, so we went to all the events we could handle.

Since then I've been living and dying by my "tasks" list on my Palm and it just keeps growing. When I've had a millisecond to breathe, I look around for more to do. I've stopped working out, stopped writing, and have been filling my days with everything from volunteering at Gabe's school to pack school supplies for Iraqi children, to finishing my Dreamweaver class, to coordinating this weeks FRG reunion briefings. Then I've had to catch up on my house cleaning, bills, personal hygiene, etc. When I look forward on the Palm, I see no appointments and I'm lost.

The strange thing is I feel like I have a purpose. I feel like I have JOB (that pays zilch by the way) but I'm exhausted - and strangely fulfilled. Gabe had three baseball games in the past four days. That alone has drained me.

Why is it that if we are busy we feel better?

For the longest time in this deployment the days just blended into each other. Now I'm energized by the busyness, probably because it's not just busyness. Would you believe I've put in about 150 volunteer hours to the FRG? That's really picked up because we're getting ready for the homecoming and people have questions and meetings, etc. Anyway, I do feel like it's a job. Even if I don't get paid, I know I've done some good and found some families that otherwise would have had no information source about this deployment. That's the Reserves for you [shaking head]

But I'm ready for it to slow down now. Gabe needs lots of reading help this summer and I want to spend my last few weeks as their only parent with quality time. I will be a tad sentimental when this ends because I've formed such a bond with my boys. Of course on nights like tonight where we had a baseball game last until 8:30 and they both needed baths and Gabe had chores to do...I'll be happy to have someone else do all that!