I read this on a military wives support board today:
Who is the military wife? The military wife is molded by sacrifice. She is a woman who loves her husband. A woman whose contribution to the military is never compensated and whose presence is rarely officially acknowledged. The military wife doesn't deal in hypothetical. She deals in realities. And the reality is that in most countries in the world, life is still about honor. In the military, questions of life and death are not rhetorical. They get answered every single day.
That was the last paragraph of a much longer tribute to the military wife and whenever I read these I think, what about the Reserve and Guard wives? Here's my tribute:
The military reserve wife doesn't know that much about the military and most of us don't care. We're lucky if we know our husband's unit, but we probably have no idea the difference between a battalion and a brigade. We don't choose a career to mold around his career. We don't know what PCS means or how to read an LES. We don't know to stop and put your hand over your heart when taps is played at the end of the day on base. We don't know to tip the bagger at the commissary. We don't know what the chain of command is. We don't know who to call in case of an emergency. We don't know how to use TriCare. We don't know what to do if we don't get paid by the Army. We don't know that spending a couple weeks away from your partner while their on business is NOTHING like a yearlong deployment, as most civilians don't realize.
And one day, your Reserve partner trades in the suit and tie for BDU's and an M16 for a year. You live hours away from a base or the other Reserve wives. You probably have kids, and a job. And you have to learn it all.
We do have more respect for the active duty wives. We do know that mil wives don't get the respect or recognition they deserve for raising kids alone and supporting a soldier. And we leave a piece of our hearts with the active Army when it's all said and done.
p.s. I'm screwing around on the blog because I'm putting off doing my taxes
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9 comments:
Very nice ;) Roger that! Hooah :) (I'm an active duty wife and this words were completely foreign to me only three years ago.) I agree with the above comment...respect for all!
Well said. Though I'm not a reserves/guard wife, I was once a new armywife and had to learn it all just the same. I especially like the last sentence. It's very true.
Very veery noce post!!
Yes, my husband is a weekend warrior, but I think now he'll be a little harder on people who use that term, since he's certainly done his active duty time to the max. Today's Army is different. The Reserves and Gaurd are fighting along with active duty, doing 12-18 month tours, the only difference is that we have civilian jobs to leave behind, and get a fraction of the training, but we hold our own ;)
I think I have greater respect for the new wife and the reserve wife. I am lucky my spouse fed me as much info about the Army as I could take. He figured the more I knew the less stressed I would be about the "life." He's right, I am not phased by all the pitfalls and crazy things that sometimes occur.
I think its much harder on those that aren't exposed to it everyday, to roll your eyes at finance, to laugh quietly at the silly directional arrows at some commissaries, and how to spilt into 6 people in order to help the packers pack your antique you just brought back from Germany two years ago. But once you learn it you never forget.
That was so funny. You did a good job. You're right you didn't sign up for it. Hey, and I HATE people who don't tip the baggers! And Tricare is a .... well... (ahem)... I'll keep that to myself.
Well I'm surprised at the response to this post because it was a stream of conciousness, but obviously we mil wives all go through the same initiation to the military world! And I actually do care much more about the soldiers in our unit and their families, more than I thought I would.
Hi!
My name is Monica Henry and I am a graduate student researching for my thesis on military spouses. I am focusing on the “deployment experience” and the impact that protesters/protests have on military families but am also looking at “what it takes” to be a “successful” military spouse. I want to apologize if I’ve already contacted you – I’ve been reading through so many blogs that I sometimes forget who I’ve actually emailed. I enjoyed reading your blog and was wondering if it would be “ok” for me to cite you in my thesis and/or if you’d be open to me asking you a few questions. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments or concerns….I am looking forward to hearing from you! Thanks!!!
Sincerely,
Monica
Hi Monica,
If you get this message, you are welcome to quote me, as long as I can see which you're using :) I've vented alot on this blog and I wouldn't want anything I say to be taken out of context.
Thanks!
monique
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