Ghetto Fabulous

There comes a time in every person's life when the evil twin that dwells silently within us, makes a devilish appearance. Saturday night was that time for me. I won't subject you all to the expletives that spewed from my normally very clean mouth, but I'll say that I ripped this guy a new one in the parking lot. It was road rage fueled by stress and sadness of the past week. In fact it was probably for the best that I took it out on a perfect stranger (who actually deserved everything I dished out) rather than oh say...My children.

I waited patiently for a parking spot at our very busy movie theater where Gabe and I were going to see The Greatest Game Ever Played (Excellent movie, highly recommend, esp for kids). Naturally as soon as the couple pulled out of their spot this jerk in a mini van pulled in from the other side. I sat in my car waving my hands telling him to get out of my spot and I probably looked like a crazy woman in a sound proof, glass room. I jumped out of my car just as the parking stealer did, slammed my door and demanded that he leave. He refused. A verbal war ensued. He told me to park somewhere else, he beat me to the spot. I told HIM to park somewhere else, I was patiently waiting. He called me a little girl. I called him something unfit to print. As he walked away and refused to move, I called him a very bad name reserved for use by gangsters, and told him Karma was a female dog. It was very very ugly. I was shaking as I stormed back to my car. Gabe didn't hear anything thankfully. The radio was on and door was closed but he so innocently asked, "Mommy are you mad?"

I drove around for 30 seconds and Karma did too. I got a much closer spot and jumped out of my car to follow they guy and his two daughters (teenagers). Yes, I was still fuming and wanted him to know it. Gabe and I hustled up behind him and stood directly behind them in the line for tickets. God knew I had a long and stressful week and that I was going to act like an irresponsible lunatic and so, in his infinite wisdom, placed my cop neighbor right in the middle of the heated situation. He was fulfilling his monthly commitment to keeping order at the popular movie theatre (normally and Alexandria cop) and I saw him just as I crept up behind my enemy. "J!" I called to him. He was all nice and like "Hey how's it going?" I go, "Hi. Do you know what this guy did" and pointed at my enemy. I started up with the guy AGAIN and my enemy put his finger in my face and told J, "You see this attitude? You see that? That's why I wouldn't move." I spat out, "Get your finger out of my face." And called him another bad name. J finally pulled me aside and I started crying. Clearly I wasn't mad about ONLY getting screwed out of a parking spot. I was upset about EVERYTHING. J thought something happened to Terry, I told him he was fine, but I clearly was not. He was really cool and joked about letting the air out of his tires, then he let me in the movie for free. Ugh. It was so so very bad, but I felt so so very good (in a very bad way of course) for what I did. We ended up behind him AGAIN in the concession line, but the rational, kind Monique moved to a different line to avoid another confrontation. By the time we finally got to order I was ready to apologize. I made a deal with God that if I saw him after our movie I would do so. Hmm, didn't see him. Pity. So I guess this is my confession for losing it big time.

(Sidenote: They guy was a HUGE HUGE jerk too, he may not have cussed but was smug, rude, arrogant, and glib, grrrrrrrr.)

I've returned safely home from the loony bin and decided I REALLY need to start running and burn off all this anxiety.