Marathon obit

Alexandria - Harrisburg Marathon Dream (HMD) died Sunday, May 15, 2005 of Procrastination in the mind of Monique R. She was five months old.

A funeral will be held immediately. Ice cream and chocolate will be provided.

A native of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, HMD was immediately loved but proved too much a challenge for her loved ones. Indeed, she was born before her time. HMD was hailed as the pinnacle of athletic achievement, a path to pre-baby body form, health and energy.

HMD suffered many set backs in her short five months of life. Some say she was doomed from the start as the product of a New Year's resolution.

HMD was given all forms of treatment including partnership with Treadmill, Baby Jogger, and Weight Training before pronounced dead. Experimental treatment was also administered including self-deprecation and caffeine. The 10 Year High School Reunion defibrillator was administered as a last resort, but it was no competition for Starvation and Strategically Chosen Attire.

Survivors include the half-marathon who shall not be named (although she too, is fading quickly) and the 5K.

Friends may send trendy running attire, sports drinks and motivational music in care of Monique.