For all my (mommy) girls, etc.

Continuing with my parenting theme...

If you want to feel like you're a good parent or at least normal, go to Dr. Spock's Ask Our Experts page. Once you read scenarios like this you'll feel like Mrs. Cleaver:

• Seven year old secretly wearing baby brothers diapers
• Nine year old threatening to kill herself
• Child bites himself after punishment

Not to make fun of these people's problems, but really, it puts things into perspective when I worry that Gabe plays too many video games. (Actually I just blame his father.)

But it does remind me of how hard parenting is, even if you don't have a child with Tourettes...no really, I mean it! Sometimes there is no one to help you with the everyday questions like how to get week old milk out of the carpet, or if taking money from your kid to pay for lunch is stealing.

Ok really, I think about the fact that the only vegetables that I can get my kids to eat are carrots and broccoli and some days they don't get any veggies at all. Gabe does play way too many video games and Asher watches so much TV he thinks he's a Teletubby. Gabe is actually so smart he's been put in gifted classes for next year, and Asher, well...my mom says I was talking in full sentences when I was two. Asher is 2 1/2 and his newest words are: "shake a booty." Not exactly a full sentence. He doesn't know any of his ABC's but he does say, "seven, seven, seven we we practice numbers, that's progress right? RIGHT?

If I were to submit questions to Dr. Spock these would be the ones. But I'm curious what you moms have to say...

• Discipline - I can't think of any other disciplines besides time outs, regular beatings (I kid), and taking away TV, Xbox, Computer and I don't know that any work...and how do you discipline a two year old anyway???
• Food - I need some healthy snack ideas. How in the world do I get my kids to eat vegetables!!!
• Bonding - I take Gabe on a date every month, but I'm worried that when Terry gets home, I'll be so uncool 'cause dad's going to play games and wrestle with him. How do moms and sons stay close?
• Friends - should kids Gabe's age have co-ed sleepovers? Should they have girlfriends? (I said hell no to that one)

P.S. Random story not related to this entry:
The other day in the McDonald's drive through (Hey! We get chicken nuggets!) I heard the guy in front of me at the cashier's window say, "...wife in the car behind me." I pull up to two women hiding smiles.
"Did that guy just say I am his wife?" I ask while looking to see if he's cute. He's not.
"I don't want to say..." the older cashier says, still smiling.
"Well, maybe you could tell him he's got two kids," I say nodding my head at my boys in the back seat with a wry smile.
"And one in his car too!" the cashier jokes with me as I drive off, laughing.

P.P.S. Oprah's Legends Ball:
Does anyone plan on watching this ego fest? Frankly I'm a little disgusted by the idea of broadcasting to the world how fabulously rich and successful people she and her friends are. If we want to hear about success make, "My American Journey" your next book club selection. And I like Oprah. She's generous, kind and accepting of everyone from two legged dogs to gay NFL players to plastic surgery addicted mothers. But please, please don't deceive yourself, Oprah, into thinking average American's want to watch a "Legends Ball." We already have the Oscars and we can barely choke down our popcorn during that one...